I have a date n I have a quest. | Autism PDD

Wellits been almost 2yrs. since my last date. That was a disaster we got along great. We went out couple times . Then I had him over for dinner n Christian bit him and hit him..he laughed it off..then he left and I never heard from him again..OH WELL HIS LOSS..LOL..WEll recently I ran into a old guy I liked 18yrs ago, and weve been talkin every nite for 2wks. He has a 8year old son and mine is 4 I have told him about his autism and he says well my boys are wild too but at least he listened when I explained my sons dx.I know Christian craves male attention..so I hope he the guy doesnt freakout and runnnnnnnnnn..its great we both have instant messaging b/c if by on the phone which christian hates me on the guy didnt have to hear me redirecting him or tell him no we dont do that and so on..so TODAY AFTER I CLEAN HOUSE IF SON LETS ME my friend is coming over with his son for a BBQ and I hope it all works out..b/c I would like some happiness for once.The ex. always said to me NOONE WILL EVER WANT YOU B/C YOU HAVE BAGGAGE..THIS guy is nice and I just am hoping Christian is good with his son and doesnt interrupt the enttire time like he does when any of my girlfriends or guy friends  are here.maybe his son and him will get along ILLL FEEL TERRIBLE IF HE BITES HIM..HIS MEDS ARE IN HIM..SO ANY ADVICE IN DATING AGAIN WITH A AUTISTIC CHILD..? Shouldn't this be in the hangout forum?

Cyndie,

First of all I want to say that it's great that you have found someone that you are interested in.  I was single for a while inbetween my two marriages and I have to say something here.  With any child...and especially with a special needs child....you need to be careful of how you go about the dating thing.  I would be very cautious at first and keep your relationship with him separate from your child.  The reason I say this is because children tend to get attached so easy and until you know exactly where this relationship is going you need to be cautious for your son's sake.  It can be such a disapointment for the children when things don't work out.  I have even had male friends in the past that spent time with my kids and when problems arised in our friendship and the friendship was no longer...my children still suffered because of it.  Not nearly as bad as when I dated someone once and it didn't work out though.  Speaking from experience I would just use caution is all.  I do hope that you have a good time though...it's always nice to spend time with another adult. 

Karrie

AWWWWW THANKS KARRIE, yea hes used to me haven plenty of male n female friends. But your right and this guy knows that..at last i didnt go threw woman like his dad did and exposed our son to..which when ALEX N I SPLIT 3YRS. AGO he had a g/f rt.away n then another 2months later moved in with her n then another...He didnt find this disturbing to our child but I did and put my foot down..with the latest pyscho hes been with well they did nothin but fight in front of him...and after I had to pik him up in a icestorm at 1030 at night 1 1/2yrs ago I said nomore your not taking him and that was that..but I understand what your sayin, trust I wont b hangin all over this guy in front of my son...its so inappropriate plus id crush the guy..lol...but thanks for the advice

Good to hear that the kids had a good time.  You know...maybe things didn't go so bad with the adults as you might think.  I'm sure that he will call...and if not...like you said....more fish in the sea right??? 

 

Karrie

WELL Christian got along so good with his son .  Christisan was aweso

& if this guy isn't "the one"...like YOU said......"More fish"......

God Bless you & your Family & keep you all safe!

LINDA...aka Tony'sMom...aka MWN64

My hat is off to you  for haing a social life. I 'm not activiely looking for anyone right now, I'm open to whatever God wants bring. I am very cautious  for Ben's sake. Mine, too
before i was a mom, dating was easy and so much fun!! but now... i think its one of the most difficult things ever. i have to admit - my daughter has been the make-or-break issue of most of my relationships. most of the guys i've dated, when i've told them about my daughter, they were fine with it and said they could handle it. one guy even did a ton of research on autism before spending time with her! i was so impressed! and he was so nice and cute and funny and perfect! then one day we took her to the mall of america for the whole day. i thought she did great, considering the circumstances. but him.... i dont think he could handle it all that well. things between us pretty much fizzled after that.

there was one guy i dated, when my daughter was three, who was a NATURAL when it came to dealing with her. he knew nothing of autism, but he didnt care. he wanted to get to know HER, not the disability. and he did great! she loved him! i swear, from the moment i met him, i knew i was going to marry him. he was perfect for me and perfect for my baby. but then... i dont know... he always told me he wanted to get married and have a family with me and all that good stuff, but he was out drinking with his buddies every night, getting into trouble, and just being really immature and stupid. we broke up, he went a little crazy. got himself into big trouble. eventually he moved to another state for a job and to straighten out his life. he's doing much better now, has really improved. i still love him, and my daughter still loves him. in the last few months he has asked me to pack up my daughter and move in with him... but he's so far away, i dont know if i could leave my family. he refuses to move back here since he's doing so well down there. so now i'm just trying to forget it all and move on.

anyways. dating has been difficult. i can never meet anybody. i never have a babysitter. i hate being single.
Sunny I am so sad for you. I think I rather have no dates. My church has been a great place Ben and I to be surrounded by loving people, especially families that include us in their lives. I feel very protected there. Single is hard, but God has graciously buffered us through this community of believers. i am grateful. there are men in our church that have been invaluable in expressing godly caracter toward Ben and made church fun for him. I now pray about a good companion for me. Someone to talk to after the little guy is in bed, or share in those magical moments of progress, and be on the other side of the camera. All in all, we have a good life and I continue to celebrate that.. 
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